i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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