I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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