Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
