bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
