Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
