I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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