Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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