I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
