He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
