Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
