no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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