I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
