I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
