I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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