He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
barbara walters just said penis...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
