why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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