Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize