he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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