Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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