we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
