And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
