Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize