I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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