Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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