12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
