she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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