Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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