It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
