have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
