I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
