so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
