so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
