I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize