well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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