I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
