Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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