Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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