i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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