then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
