so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
