I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
