Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
