We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
