even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
