hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
