Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
