We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
