Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
