There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
