Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
