As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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