so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
