none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
