eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
