Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
