I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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