I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
