I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
